


The Secret's In The Telling

by towardstheair



Series: Secret's Series [1]
Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-08
Packaged: 2017-12-26 00:10:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towardstheair/pseuds/towardstheair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>your name is pounding through my veins - can't you hear how it is sung?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret's In The Telling

There is a crack in the curtain that has been shining into Kris's eyes, it's irritating and if Kris wasn't so comfortable he'd totally get out of the bed and shut it. Everything feels a little blurry when he closes his eyes. He can see flashes of the night before but it's all fairly jumbled up and nothing really makes much sense. He didn't expect any less when he and Adam had agreed to this; he listened to the reasons why it was such a good idea and he really had nothing against spending a month touring with one of his best friends. He didn't think much past that though, because what came with it was their bands, which equalled to nine grown men and a whole lot of alcohol and this is only the fourth day.

 

Kris groans and rolls over, throwing his head into the pillow. He isn't sure he would be able to keep up with everyone else, he may have gone a little crazy last night but he completely blames the new sense of freedom he has. He knows that Katy isn't expecting a phone call at a certain time, he knows that he won't hear that angry tone to her voice when she realises he is in a bar with everyone else. It's not that he is happy with his divorce status but sometimes things don't work out the way you think they will, and also sometimes things that are hard really do end up working out for the best. Katy is happy, back in Arkansas with her family, working alongside her Mom and feeling the most content she has felt for a while. All her exact words from the last conversation they had. It's hard for Kris to not be happy for her. Music has always been his dream, what he wanted and somehow he forgot that maybe Katy had things she wanted as well. Somewhere along the road, they forgot to love each other.

 

His phone rings annoyingly loud and without looking he reaches out, hitting it until it just stops. It's probably Adam, wanting to recall to him all the embarrassing things he said and did the night before. Kris is very happy to wait until later in the day and after at least four cups of coffee to hear that. Kris is very appreciative that they get at least two nights in a hotel every week, it isn't a condition they had stipulated for doing the tour together, but it is one both he and Adam quickly agreed to when it was offered. Kris doesn't have anything against tour bus living, it’s just not the easiest thing to deal with. Cramped up with four other people you spend all your time with anyone can start to get grating especially when all you want is some time to yourself.

 

He should really check the time and think about showering, but the bed is so damn comfortable and he can rely on Cale to come get him half an hour before they have to leave. He rolls over onto his back and pulls the covers up higher. He hears a muffled groan and pulls the covers down again and turns to his left.

 

“What?”

 

Why is Tommy asleep in his bed? Wait, why is he naked and asleep with Tommy in his bed? How is he only just now noticing that Tommy is next to him? Also, how is he only just noticing that he is naked? Tommy mumbles something under his breath and throws his arm across Kris's chest. Kris can't possibly move even if he wants to, he feels like he is nailed down to the bed, completely immobile. He tries to piece things together. He remembers talking to Tommy a lot last night. They have gotten along well since the first moment they met, talking about music and life and generally everything. But that's a big step from talking to this, a big huge step that Kris cannot remember taking.

 

Kris looks down at the tattooed arm spread across his chest and he breathes in sharply. A flicker of Tommy on top of him, hair dishevelled, lips parted and Kris remembers licking down that arm, biting along it and...

 

Shit.

 

He is instantly hard at just that one memory of the night before and he isn't freaking out, not really. He likes Tommy; he has been with guys before so this should not be a big deal. Except that it is a big huge freaking deal. These kinds of things are complicated, he has to spend the next three weeks with this person, and Kris has always been completely crap at handling awkward situations. He is by his own admission an avoider. It took Katy a year to get Kris to sit down and accept that their marriage was falling apart. Tommy is comfortable in his own skin and he never shies away from any of the conversations that the other guys of course have. In fact in most cases he is the instigator, always giving away the most information about his past and encounters, he encourages the others to reveal more and when that happens, Kris conveniently has to go do something else.

 

He knows why he usually shies away from those conversations and why last night he didn't. He isn't uninhibited normally, and last night he was; drunk and free and instead of thinking he was just feeling. It's easy to walk away when his mind is clear and sober and he can ignore the little voice in his head telling he really wants to stay, but last night that was gone.

 

It's not that Kris is a prude; he's just a bit more conventional than that. The three people he has had sex with are people he cared about and trusted. It has to mean more to him; something more than is worth just a story to his friends. So this, this is extremely out of character and he is all but ready to blame it on Tommy and his influence. The problem with that is he is starting to remember more about the events of the night before. He is pretty sure he stuck his hands down Tommy's pants.

 

The arm resting against his chest starts to move and Kris can feel Tommy's fingers moving across his skin. It seems like Tommy's touch is going to trigger a new memory for him. Kris remembers sitting at the end of the bed, Tommy looming over him, shirt off and his jeans lying hopelessly low on his hips. He remembers seeing uncertainty in Tommy's eyes and wanting desperately for the look to be gone. He had bitten along the skin on Tommy's stomach pushing down the jeans with ease and licking along as more skin became exposed...

 

“Are you freaking out?”

 

Kris turns to look at Tommy; he looks worried and completely fucked out. His hair is everywhere, sticking up and falling across his face and Kris couldn't not laugh at that. He laughs so loudly and so much that his sides hurt. Kris is sure that Tommy probably thinks he has gone insane, so when the laughter subsides he looks at Tommy again and brushes off the hair from his face. Tommy closes his eyes and makes a noise close to a whimper and Kris's body reacts instantly and he is hard again.

 

“So... not freaking out?” Tommy smiles.

 

Kris bites his bottom lip and fights with the urge to kiss that smile away. “Just... processing. Everything is a little blurry up here right now.” Kris taps his head.

 

Tommy laughs and goes to move away but Kris stops him and he doesn't really have much of a reason why, other than the fact that he likes the way Tommy's arm feels across his body and how he isn't ready for him to move just yet. Tommy bits his lip and looks at Kris's fingers gripping onto his arm.

 

“This is complicated you know that right?” Kris meets his eyes as Tommy's speaks.

 

Kris thinks that Tommy should just be quiet for a little longer; he thinks that they should both not say anything at all for a little longer. He runs his fingers up Tommy's arms, tracing the outline of the tattoos. He finds them strangely mesmerising. How did Kris go his whole life without ever realising that he finds tattoos extremely hot? Or is it just tattoos on Tommy? Or is it just Tommy?

 

“You really like those don't you?”

 

“Hmm...”

 

“I said this would be a bad idea. But you were pretty insistent... I was trying to be noble and do the right thing you know?”

 

He can hear Tommy talking but Kris is very focused on Tommy's body right now, very focused on kissing his way up Tommy's arm and across his neck. When he is finally face to face with Tommy, he is still talking.

 

“I even showed you to your room, it's not really my fault that you followed me to mine and forced yourself on me...”

 

Kris pulls back slightly and finds Tommy smiling at him, mischievous and playful. “I'm kidding, well about the forcing yourself on me, everything else is pretty accurate.”

 

“So...” And then Kris remembers. Everyone else had left the bar, but Kris and Tommy had been deep in conversation and the others left them to it. For some reason their departure gave Kris a huge boost of confidence and lack of filter. He thinks he pretty much told Tommy his entire life story, including the time he had a two month relationship with his roommate in college when he and Katy were on a break. There are only a handful of people who know that, and apparently Kris felt that Tommy needed to be another one of those people.

 

He remembers the space between them growing smaller and smaller with each revelation and how his hands seemed to have a mind of their own, wandering over any part of Tommy's skin that was within his reach. He can remember spending a lot of time staring and just running his fingers over Tommy's arms, which is innocent enough, he could have put that down to a genuine interest in Tommy's tattoo's. But he also knows he spent a lot of time with his hands under Tommy's shirt moving them across Tommy's chest and stomach while his lips kissed along Tommy's neck. That he can't explain away so easily.

 

“I initiated this... I came onto you...”

 

“I wasn't exactly protesting, Kris.”

 

Kris likes the way his name sounds coming from Tommy's mouth, he remembers it from the night before. Tommy laid out flat on his back, hands in Kris's hair and Kris kissing along Tommy's inner thigh.

 

“You remember right?”

 

Kris nods. Things are still a blur in his mind, but he can remember enough to know that he wouldn't object to what happened last night to happen again right now. Kris is half way hovering over Tommy and he leans forward so that the two of them are sitting face to face. From the way Tommy is looking at him he is pretty sure they are both of the same page.

 

“I was being serious you know? About this being complicated.”

 

“It doesn't really need to be.”

 

Kris reaches out and traces his fingers along Tommy's arm again, he knows Tommy has more he wants to say but he is hoping he can somehow make him forget all those thoughts. He shuffles closer, practically putting himself in Tommy's lap and moves his hands up to grab Tommy's hair. It's soft and thick under his fingers and he pulls his head back and kisses along the exposed skin of Tommy's neck.

 

“We're stuck with each other...” Kris can't understand the rest of the sentence, its slightly mumbled and he is far too focused on finding Tommy's lips and silencing him. His tongue meets Tommy's and they kiss each other like they need to do it to live, its harsh and fast and Kris has never kissed anyone like this before, he has never had anyone kiss him like it before. Tommy pulls back, panting and lips wet.

 

“You're one of Adam's best friends...”

 

“So are you...”

 

Kris doesn't think that is really relevant right now and he pushes forward, whatever Tommy was about to say is lost against his lips. He pushes Tommy down on his back and lays out on top of him, grinding down making a point that they really don't need to be talking right now.

 

–

 

The next few days are crazily busy, they have promotion in every town they hit and added with the performances every night, the only thing Kris wants to do is curl in his bunk and fall asleep. He really doesn't see Tommy that much and it’s not that he plans it that way, it just kind of happens. He knows there will inevitably be that awkward moment when they come face to face on their own and neither of them knows what to say. Kris realises then that he probably should have let Tommy speak when he said things could get complicated because he can see now that they just might.

 

They narrowly escaped the moment yesterday when Kris ran into Tommy getting off the bus. They were only alone for about thirty seconds but Kris tried to play it cool and he is well aware that he failed completely. Now that he has seen Tommy naked, spread out beneath him, it’s hard for him to imagine Tommy any other way. It's hard for him to want to imagine Tommy any other way. He was thankful for Andrew jumping off the bus and pushing them both along.

 

Kris figured out early during his touring experiences that where everyone else likes to stay up and chill after performing, all he wants to do is crash. They have two buses, but it quickly gets to the stage where no one is staying on the same bus every night, except Adam of course who has everything set out in his bunk the way he wants it and would kill anyone if they dare go anywhere near it. Kris laughed at it to start with, but now he is kind of regretting not doing the same thing so he has a space he can call his own.

 

The crowd tonight was particularly amazing, loud and singing along; there was just something special about the whole evening. So when Kris drops face down on his bunk, he waits for the dark oblivion to come but ten minutes later he is still wide awake. He can't hear the chatter from everyone else so he knows a majority of them are probably on the other bus. He can hear Cale's quiet snoring above him and the gentle hum as the bus travels along. He is thankful that tomorrow night is a hotel night; he can't wait to stretch out on a large bed and not be woken up by the bus pulling up into the latest location.

 

He gives up on trying to sleep and pulls the curtain across, he pulls off his shirt and makes his way down the bus toward what they say is their living room. Kris just thinks that's stupid because for one its not a room, its just a couch and a TV, but its enough for Kris who right now wants to get lost in some mindless TV show and hopefully fall asleep within the first ten minutes.

 

His plans are of course all thrown out the window when he sees Tommy sprawled out on the couch. Kris wishes that he had made the effort to see more of Tommy over the last few days because how is he only just realising now that he missed him? He shouldn't miss someone who he barely knows, who he can easily see every day if he wants to and with whom things are about to get really uncomfortable.

 

Tommy spots him and smiles, he doesn't get up or look away, if anything he moves back into the couch more, getting more comfortable. Tommy's jeans hang low on his hips; it must just be a permanent place for them. His shirt is riding up a little and his hand is pressed against the bare skin of his stomach while his other hand is in his hair. Kris is staring and Tommy knows it, he knows full well the reaction he is having on Kris and rather than make a move to avoid what they both know is going to happen next, Tommy just watches.

 

“Where is everyone else?”

 

“Other bus. They know you like to sleep and they didn't want to disturb you.”

 

“Why aren't you with them?”

 

Tommy smiles and shrugs. “I didn't feel like it and... I kind of missed you the last few days.”

 

“I thought you said this was complicated.” Kris smirks.

 

“It is. Doesn't stop me from wanting you.”

 

This is a lot complicated but it doesn't stop Kris from moving towards the couch and looking down at Tommy's body spread out. Kris really hadn't planned for this to happen, then again he hadn't planned it the first time and at least then he had the excuse of alcohol. But he doesn't care that he doesn't have an excuse, in fact he doesn't want one. What he does want is Tommy, it's been a quiet longing for a while now and the only thing he can blame on the alcohol is his realisation of what he wants.

 

Tommy moves his hand into his jeans and Kris watches transfixed on the way Tommy's arm moves, the sounds he makes. He can already see that Tommy is hard and he licks his lips, remembering what it felt like taking him into his mouth and having the control to make Tommy fall apart. Tommy's other hand finds Kris's and presses it against the front of Tommy's jeans. Suddenly Kris comes alive and he is moving, down on his knees and pulling Tommy's hand away and unzipping the jeans.

 

He takes Tommy into his mouth and grips at his thighs. He feels Tommy hit the back of his throat and ignores the instinct to pull away, and works through it spurred on by the sounds Tommy is making, by the way he grabs hold of Kris's hair and urges him on.

 

“Kris...”

 

Kris pulls back slightly, still keeping Tommy in his mouth as their eyes meet and they are locked there for an indescribable amount of time. All it takes is Kris licking his tongue across the head of Tommy's cock and then taking him all in his mouth and Tommy is falling apart beneath him. Tommy's hands leave Kris's hair and grip at his shoulders pulling him up to meet Tommy's lips in a harsh kiss, Tommy's teeth biting at Kris's bottom lip. Kris is sure he won't even need Tommy to touch him, just the friction of his leg pressed against him is enough and he grinds down knowing that he is making too much noise but Tommy silences him with a kiss as he comes.

 

–

 

They see each other a lot after that. In fact, they make excuses to the others so that they can meet up and be alone. It's not always about sex. Tommy is a good person to be around, he is laid back and easy to talk to, and Kris kind of loves hearing Tommy talk about music and his life. The passion for it radiates from him and okay, when Tommy gets like that it usually does lead to sex but its not Kris's fault that he has a weakness for pretty men who know all the lyrics to every Depeche Mode song.

 

They are into the third week of the tour, and it’s been hard to avoid getting caught and trying to play down how much he likes Tommy. He is sure Cale knows something is up since he caught Tommy and Kris, leaving the bathroom together; call it shitty timing if you want. Tommy had laughed and made some comment about Kris never locking the door but Cale did not look convinced. Kris can't blame him, of all the things Tommy is good at; lying is not one of them. He is fairly sure Adam has no idea. Adam is a bad secret keeper and if knew about this he is positive Adam would have something to say about it.

 

It's hotel night, and both he and Tommy have been excitedly jumping around all day about the fact they would get to sleep in a huge bed. Of course, it secretly means to them they get to sleep together in a huge bed, but no one else, except maybe Cale, would pick up on that. The problem is that on hotel nights, Adam likes to find the nearest acceptable bar for them all to go out in. It's very hard to say no to Adam Lambert especially when he is determined about something; Kris learnt early on it's easier just to smile and nod and go along with it. He kind of wants to yell at Adam now though because its nearly 2am and Tommy is deliciously drunk, talking with his hands and falling into Kris's lap. To everyone else it is hilarious, to Kris it's absolute torture. Sure, he can touch Tommy when he leans into him, but he can't sit Tommy on his lap and go at it right there which is exactly what his problem is because it's all he wants to do.

 

The club Adam has dragged them to has a small VIP area, and its just them and two people behind the bar. Adam dragged them all into the corner of the room and the chairs are comfortable, enough so that despite the thump of music, Kris could happily drift off to sleep. That's until he sees Tommy, who has moved away from where they are sitting, his body swaying to the music, his hips moving in a way that are out to kill Kris. No one else seems aware to what Tommy is doing, they are either too drunk or too oblivious so Kris feels safe watching Tommy without anyone noticing.

 

“I'm onto you, Kristopher.” Adam is drunk. But he has always been a pretty hilarious drunk, so if Kris wanted to he could laugh off what Adam is saying and just walk away. But Adam is looking at him and then looking at dancing Tommy and its like he knows and it turns out Kris is a really bad liar, and also not very good at thinking of something to say when he doesn't know what to say. Adam laughs and then falls off the chair he was kind of sitting on and Kris is pretty sure he won't remember any of this in the morning.

 

–

 

“You're an asshole you know that?”

 

“Hmfff...” Tommy mumbles against Kris's chest and just snuggles in closer. It took them way too long to get back to the hotel. It may have had something to do with the fact that the only person who could walk without falling down was Kris. The good thing though, is that it has given Kris a lot of video footage he can threaten them all with at a later date.

 

Tommy pinches at one of his nipples and huffs loudly. “What? And ow.”

 

“I said why am I an asshole?”

 

Tommy looks up at him wide eyed, his eye-liner smeared and lips looking pouty and Kris can't really remember why Tommy is an asshole at all. They have a huge bed they can make the most of in the morning when Tommy is actually able to be awake for longer than two minutes. Kris runs his hands across Tommy's back and through his hair.

 

“I'll tell you in the morning. Go to sleep.”

 

“Mkay...”

 

–

 

Kris wakes up to the sound of his alarm ringing and why is it that he always forgets to turn the damn thing off when it's hotel day. To be fair he was kind of busy dealing with drunken people last night, so he is less angry with himself. He reaches out expecting to find Tommy on the other side of the bed; instead there is an empty space. He sits up and searches the room. Tommy is leaning against the dresser staring at Kris, his hair is wet and he has a towel wrapped around his waist. He looks kind of troubled, and Kris never really thought about Tommy being anything but fine with this... whatever it is they are doing but there is something in Tommy's eyes that are saying something different.

 

“What are you doing up so early?”

 

Tommy shrugs. “I woke up and I wanted to shower...”

 

“Come back to bed.”

 

Tommy smiles and lets the towel drop before crawling into the bed and laying out on top of Kris. He is awake now and his plans for last night got seriously disrupted by Tommy's drunkenness, so he figures Tommy has some making up to do. He strokes his hands down Tommy's back, still slightly damp from the shower and Tommy murmurs against his shoulder. It's surprising to Kris just how comfortable he is to be like this with Tommy, he really would be happy to stay here all day and mark out every inch of Tommy's skin with his lips and he hasn't felt like that since... he isn't entirely sure he has ever felt like that.

 

“Kris, what are we doing here?”

 

“What? Like right now?”

 

Tommy laughs into Kris's shoulder and it rumbles through his skin, and Kris would be stupid not to wrap his arms around Tommy and pull him as close to him as he possibly can.

 

Tommy breathes in deeply before he speaks. “I like you. There I said it.”

 

“Well... I like you too...”

 

Tommy rolls over and lets out a deep breath, his fingers grip into his damp hair and Kris has never seen Tommy this aggravated before. He is pretty sure he has never seen Tommy aggravated.

 

“I don't do this. I mean... I don't usually act like this you know? But you're fucking driving me crazy.”

 

Kris thinks this would be a really good time to bring up Tommy's dancing last night, and the whole rubbing up against him thing because that is his definition of crazy so he has no idea what Tommy is talking about.

 

“Have you ever watched videos of you on stage, Kris? You really should because then you might understand what the hell I am talking about. Right after the set I stand there and watch you night after night and it's like...”

 

“Foreplay?”

 

“Yes! By the time we're finally alone I'm so fucking worked up...”

 

Kris laughs because it really is quite hilarious. He thought out of the two of them the most likely person to freak out and have a breakdown would be him, because well he might be known for having the occasional freak outs. But this never was one of the things that made him feel that way, mainly in large part to Tommy's reaction about it. Tommy's words have always been that this would be complicated, but his actions never show any hint that he doesn't want this to be happening. Sometimes, just before he comes, Tommy will bite down on Kris's neck, whisper into his ear that he needs this. So no, maybe neither of them have ever actually had the conversation defining what they are, but it’s always been enough for Kris to know that Tommy needs this just as much as he does. It was just something they did; they both got what they wanted and were happy with the arrangement. He thinks that Tommy still is, he just isn't entirely sure what Tommy's point is right now.

 

“Do you not... I thought you were okay with this...” Kris bites his lip nervously, unsure if he wants to hear what Tommy is about to say.

 

“I am.”

 

The sincerity in Tommy’s voice is obvious but Kris has to be sure, he has to know that this is something Tommy really wants. “Are you saying... I mean... do you want to finish this?”

 

“No... no that's not what I meant. I just... I like you.”

 

Kris turns and climbs over Tommy, he looks down and there is something more there to those words. I like you. Kris is starting to think that it's not just a sex thing, not for Tommy and possibly not for him. Because he really doesn't do this; which he already knew, which he had been telling himself since it started. He doesn't have sex with people he doesn't care about. He cares about Tommy. A lot. It's bothering him right now that Tommy looks so defeated and sad and he wants to kiss it all away.

 

Kris leans down and kisses Tommy's face, across his eyes and nose, his cheek and jaw, he lingers his lips above his ear and whispers, “I like you, too.”

 

Kris pulls back a little bit to take in Tommy's face, his eyes are careful and questioning but he refuses to let this go on any longer than it has to, because they only have the morning in this amazing bed and Kris wants to make the most of it. They can talk about how they feel all night when neither of them can sleep on the bus and Kris will listen to every single word Tommy has to say because he means it when he says he likes Tommy.

 

Kris leans in and Tommy turns his face away, suddenly he is terrified that he is going to lose this. He wishes he was better with words that he knew what to say because he does like Tommy a lot. So much so that sometimes it scares him a little bit. But it's only been a couple of weeks since this started and neither of them set any rules out for how this was going to last.

 

He rolls off Tommy and lays on his side, looking directly in Tommy's eyes, his hand running through Tommy's hair. He refuses to let Tommy look away, he refuses to let Tommy feel any doubt. “I mean it. I do really like you.”

 

Tommy smiles and kisses at Kris's lips softly, his lips lingering there for a while, his teeth biting at Kris's lower lip. Kris deepens the kiss quickly and there is no resistance from Tommy.

 

He continues to make the point and mutters the words against Tommy's skin as he kisses down his body.

 

–

 

Kris makes good on his promise. He spends the next night, and the four after that staying up way too late talking about everything and anything with Tommy. It's all fairly simple when they get down to talking about it. They both like each other. They both have no interest in anyone else. Neither of them wants to be with anyone else.

 

Cale catches them huddled together, half asleep one morning and they are both sure that Cale knows that something is going on between them. Kris doesn't mind, Cale is a good guy and he has been around Kris long enough to know that Kris is sensible with these kind of things. He isn't reckless and spontaneous, maybe that's why Kris likes Tommy so much, he is all those things and whatever it is they have it seems to work.

 

It's also how he and Tommy end up getting caught by Adam backstage on the night before the last of the tour.

 

–

 

Kris loves the feeling of knowing its time to play the last song of the night. The crowd always gets a little more into the moment, the band always play a little bit harder and Kris can feel the energy leaving him and giving everything he has into the song. It's different every night, and yet its the same, somehow familiar. He spots Tommy at the side of the stage just as he starts to play, his face beautifully covered in make-up that Adam no doubt helped him apply and he is watching Kris intently, his focus never wavering.

 

When the band finishes the song, its thrilling for Kris to know that Tommy has been watching the whole thing, he wants to turn and see him still standing there, still watching him. But he is gone, probably already making his way back to the bus, getting ready for another night of travel before this whole thing is over.

 

The stage goes dark and he follows behind everyone else to leave the stage and literally just as he has stepped out of view from the audience he feels a hand grab his in the darkness pulling him away from where he had been following Cale. He has no idea where he is being dragged to, but he knows those hands, and he knows it's Tommy. He smiles as they walk through the darkness and he wants to ask where they are going, but then Tommy pulls open a door and they are standing in the corridor leading out to where they got off the buses earlier on in the day.

 

There is no one and nothing there, just a cold concrete pavement and white painted walls. Tommy doesn't say anything he pushes Kris against the wall and falls down to his knees, removing Kris from his jeans. Kris hadn't even realise he needed this, its been two days since they have been able to be alone. He and Adam have had nothing but radio shows and interviews and there is no time left to even sleep properly let alone anything else. Tommy sucks at the head of Kris's cock, then takes him all the way in and Kris's legs feel like they are going to buckle. It's all over embarrassingly fast, but Tommy doesn't seem to want to move away from Kris at all. Even when he stands up, he is still touching Kris; pressing his hand on Kris's lower back with one hand and tucking him back into his jeans with another.

 

Tommy kisses him, and Kris never thought the taste of himself on someone else's lips would be such a turn on but he can't get enough of it. The kiss is desperate and hungry, and Kris realises suddenly that tomorrow is the last day of the tour.

 

He pulls back and its like the same thing is reflected in Tommy's eyes. He has no idea how they got to this stage, standing in a cold corridor not wanting what they have to be over.

 

“Ahem.”

 

Kris turns and Adam is standing in the corridor with his hands on his hips, looking amused. “Well, this explains a lot.” He looks behind him quickly. “You two might want to disentangle unless you're ready for everyone to know about this.”

 

Tommy takes a few steps back but Kris's arm follows him, stretched out. Tommy looks down at the empty hand reached out to him and back at Kris's face. Kris can hear the sound of everyone making their way down the corridor, talking and laughing and usually he loves the last night before the end of a tour. Everyone has stories to tell and its never about what's ending, its always about what's next. But now all he can think about is what's ending or if it will end. Because in all the things he and Tommy talked about, they never talked about this.

 

Adam is standing beside Tommy, looking at Kris in the same way he did after Kris won Idol. All Kris could think to say was that it should have been Adam over and over again and all Adam's response had been was don't be so fucking stupid. It's the same look, he is saying the exact same thing right now.

 

Adam sighs dramatically. “Monte owes me twenty bucks. He thought you two were just close friends.” He air quotes the friends as he walks away, smiling to himself. Tommy follows after him and Kris doesn't know how to react to what the hell just happened.

 

–

 

Kris wakes up every hour that night, he can't get settled. Normally he talks to Tommy every night before they reluctantly go to sleep in their own bunks, but Tommy decided to sleep on the other bus and Kris is kind of mad that on their last night of all this craziness Tommy doesn't want to spend it with him.

 

He finally gets up at around 4am and decides to make some of that flavoured tea crap that Adam insisted on bringing with him. He flicks through what feels like fifty different flavours and finally decides on strawberry. He follows the directions on the packet meticulously; including how long you should let the tea bag sit in the boiling water and then sits down on the small breakfast table. The tea worked in being a distraction for about five minutes, but now his mind is back on Tommy. It really doesn't have to be over, there is no rule that says just because something happened on tour doesn't make it real.

 

He spent a lot of time over the last year thinking he would never feel for someone again the way he felt for Katy. It would be now he figures out that he doesn't need to, because he never will. Katy was one part of his life and now he has a whole other part and why can't Tommy be in his life? In whatever way he wants him to be?

 

This is dependent on a lot of things; Tommy might not even want this. There might be a reason why he didn't want to spend the last night on the bus with him. The cold corridor blow job might have been Tommy's way of saying thank you and goodbye.

 

Adam appears in the kitchen, his hair all kinds of crazy, in his sweat pants and t-shirt. “Are you drinking my tea?”

 

Kris nods and takes a sip. Damn. This stuff is really good. He'll never admit it to Adam after bitching about it for a month.

 

“It's good huh?”

 

Kris shrugs. “Eh. It's okay.”

 

Adam sits opposite him and yawns. “Why are you awake? It's fucking stupid o'clock.”

 

“I couldn't sleep.”

 

“And so you decided to wake me up with all your clattering around in here?”

 

“Precisely.”

 

Adam steals his mug and takes a sip of the tea. “That's really good. Did you leave the tea bag in for three minutes like it said?”

 

Kris nods and smiles proudly at his tea making skills. At least he has achieved one thing tonight.

 

“So... you and Tommy huh?”

 

It is unavoidable really. The two of them alone and away from everyone else, there is no way Adam wasn't going to bring it up. Kris nods and steals back his mug of tea just so he has something to hide behind.

 

“How did that even happen?”

 

“I don't even know how to start...”

 

Adam leans forward and rests his head on his hands. “Try.”

 

So Kris does. He gives Adam a rundown of how he and Tommy ended up here, somewhere between fucking and god knows what. He leaves out a lot of intricate details that he doesn't really want to share with Adam. He is old fashioned to the bone and he respects Tommy too much to start giving out details of their sex life, which is exactly the answer Kris gives Adam when he asks about their sex life.

 

“See, that proves right there that you must like him a whole lot.”

 

“I do like him a lot! But... we never talked about this. We talked about literally everything else you can possibly think of to talk about and yet we left out this huge part of our...”

 

“Relationship?” Adam offers with a smile on his face.

 

“You're enjoying this way too much.”

 

“A little. Are you worried what people will think is that it?”

 

Kris shakes his head, Adam should know better than that. “Really? Is that what you think of me?”

 

“Okay, so it's not that. Then what is it? You like him, he likes you, and it’s really not that big of a deal right?”

 

Kris laughs, he really loves Adam's outlook on everything. It's always so optimistic and bright. “How do you feel about it?”

 

“What the fuck does it matter what I think?”

 

“You're my friend, and his friend. It matters.”

 

“I love you both and you seem to like each other a lot. That's really all I need to know. I just want you to be happy and for Tommy to stop being so weird all the time. He's been weird since this thing with you and him started, that's why I figured something had to be going on. He kind of gets a little crazy when he has a crush.”

 

Adam steals Kris's tea again and he is honestly kind of thankful, it was starting to make him feel slightly sick. It was either that or their conversation.

 

“Kris, just talk to him. You'll figure it out.”

 

Adam throws the rest of the tea away, and kisses him on the cheek before turning to leave. “Oh! I forgot to tell you, I got them to book us into a hotel tomorrow night. I figured last show, big celebration.” Adam smiles excitedly and disappears in the direction of his bunk. He hopes he can grab Tommy after the end of the show and get out of Adam's big celebratory plans. But he knows better.

 

–

 

The final show really is incredible and somehow they all end up on stage at the end of the night. The audience going crazy with applause and its an amazing feeling when he turns to look at Adam, happy and high still from his performance. It's a good feeling to be sharing this with his friend. They stand on stage taking in the moment for what feels like forever and he ends up with his side pressed against Tommy's and while he enjoys the roar of the crowd and the feeling it brings him, it doesn't feel like anything in comparison to the sparks he feels when Tommy's skin brushes against his.

 

He thinks he should tell Tommy that before this night is over. It's make or break time and he should just lay it all out on the line. He doesn't want to not see or hear from Tommy every day and he doesn't want what they have to stop. There is absolutely no reason for it to.

 

He convinces Adam to not force the issue of him and Tommy going out with them. He can see Adam any time he wants its not like Adam needs much of a reason to go out for a celebratory night. Kris remembers going out with Adam once to celebrate the fact that it was Tuesday, he is pretty sure Adam will think of something.

 

Kris doesn't give Tommy any opportunity to protest not going out with the rest of them. He has already arranged a car back to the hotel and he doesn't leave Tommy with any question of what it is that Kris wants from tonight. He presses up close against him in the back seat and Tommy's body sinks into his, the only reason Kris moves is because he knows they have a hotel room ready and waiting for them.

 

Even when they get out the car, Kris still keeps close to Tommy and when they finally make it to the elevator and its just the two of them Kris leans in and wraps an arm around Tommy's waist, burying his head into Tommy's shoulder. He kisses softly at the skin and Tommy sighs happily.

 

The hotel room is perfect, Kris wants to fall into the bed and sleep for a week but Tommy is behind him holding onto his hips and pressing kisses against his neck. They are both kind of gross after the show and like always Tommy seems to know what he is thinking and pushes them toward the bathroom door.

 

Tommy strips them both off and Kris feels like he is in a daze. Neither of them has said anything yet and Kris really did have this whole speech prepared of what he wants to say, but with each layer of clothing that Tommy takes off it makes it harder for him to remember the words. He wishes he could just kiss Tommy and hold him and have that be all he needed to do to let him know.

 

The shower is incredible. Tommy holds him close and makes sure the water always falls over them both and when they step out he wraps a towel around both of them and pulls Kris onto the bed. This is when Kris should start talking. He should stop Tommy's hands from moving down his chest and start explaining what he wants, but when he opens his mouth Tommy's face is right there in front of his. Tommy kisses him and Kris mumbles against his lips.

 

“Why didn't you stay with me last night?”

 

Tommy carries on kissing Kris's jaw like he hasn't said anything at all. When he does finally speak it's slow and unfocused and in-between kisses. “I may have freaked out about this all ending.”

 

“It's not though. It's not ending...”

 

“Shh... I know. We don't need to talk about this.”

 

They really don't. Kris has spent the last 24 hours worried about something he really doesn't need to. Clearly Tommy has been as well, he just came to the realisation a lot quicker than Kris did. This, what they have is really okay without an explanation without giving it a name because all he cares about is if Tommy is here with him right now and if he wants to be in the future. Kris isn't saying forever, because he doesn't know. But he knows right now what he wants, and he knows right now what Tommy wants.

 

He stops thinking then because Tommy is kissing down his body, licking at the drops of water left on his skin and he can't seem to care about anything else.

 

–

 

“You should get a tattoo.”

 

Kris is close to drifting off to sleep when Tommy makes that brilliant suggestion. “Oh yeah? Where shall I get one?”

 

Tommy runs his fingers over Kris's chest and presses his palm down. “Here.”

 

“I don't think I'm a tattoo kind of guy.”

 

“You like my tattoos.”

 

“No. I like you.”


End file.
